.mono[b]logue.

The One

"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be."

- Anna Louise Strong

weak

I cried at copy class last night.

It happens. The crying. It's not uncommon at 95% Trainings.

But shit, it made me feel like a weakling.

*F said something that must've struck a chord in me because the next thing I knew, tears were spilling out of my eyes.

I then went on to ramble some incoherent stuff, which I could tell that my trainer and classmates were doing their best to understand (bless them).

Hello, I didn't even know what I was saying!

Honestly, I wasn't thinking. I just made something up to justify the tears.

I feel so foolish and ashame because I might have portrayed Christianity in a different light. The last thing I want is to have them misconstrue what the Christian faith is all about.

My next class is on Wed and I'm going to set the record straight.

Truth be told, I don't know why I cried. There's a reason why I didn't just say,
"I don't know..."

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

You know what's the one thing I hate?

It made me look so weak.

I wouldn't mind admitting to that, if I was.

But the thing is, I'm NOT.

Dammit.