Hebrews 4:16




Father, I need You.

fret not however

for He lives =D


~*~ Here's wishing all of you A Blessed Easter ~*~


Proper grammar aside.

Oh my gosh! Today is it! I've hardly had any rest, let alone sleep. Went to bed bout 1-ish and was wide awake by 4+am. Aaakk! Plus my tum-tums ain't feeling too okay due to the stress/excitement/dnt-know-what-else-to-attribute-it-to. This is so not the time for my stomach to be farneee man.

For those not in the know, my church will be having an Easter celebration tonight and Mr. H.T.Long, the former Elvis (impersonator) of M'sia, has been invited to perform. He's the main act, basically. I've not personally heard of him but someone told me that he'd accepted Christ as his Saviour and is now speaking of his salvation via his performances. Apparently, he's quite famous among many churches.

Well, I don't really know what's gonna happen tonight. He'll do a number of Elvis' songs and sing several Christian ones (in his Elvis impersonated voice) then proceed to tell his testimony, I suppose. Don't know. Will find out later anyway.

And NO. PLEASE. I didn't lose sleep over him. Have you checked the dude out? A man of small stature but huuuge stage presence. Met him for the first time during the full dress rehearsal. And to be perfectly honest, the man frightens me.

I'm in a nervous disposition (not really, but yeah...) coz I'll be dancing with 3 other girls on stage while he sings! I know that don't sound too bad. BUT, BUT, I'm the clumsiest, and the slowest, and the most forgetful of the lot. Dude, I'm telling you, slow and forgetful don't make a good match, even when it comes to dancing. Thank God for Jean's patience.

I was never like this before; excited maybe but not this stressed out. I used to perform fine on stage. Fine as in, "Get all your steps and timing right, Cheryl!" Reckon I've not done this in ages, ever since I left for UK, if I'm not mistaken thus am rusty. Or maybe, it's got to do with age! Mine! BOO! Whatever la (in denial, in denial)... I ain't even functioning yet. Gonna try to get some shut eye before my alarm belts out Sexy Back.


This is me, reporting to you live from my study at ZZZZzzzzzzzz...

*Edit
Oh, oh, guess what I did when I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, try as I may?



My nails! YEaaahhh... You can't expect me to roll around in bed continuously hoping to fall back into sweet slumber. It'll just add to my stress level. So, now I have pretty nails to go with my pretty dresses for my pretty dances to Elvis' rock&roll =D

*Stop rolling your eyes!*

*Edit
Last night, I. Died.

Just before the whole thing started, we had our last practice on stage with lights and all. My hands and feet shook uncontrollably after that. Think I gave Jean a fright too.

Anyway, during the actual thing, I made uncountable mistakes for each dance, which was only two, mind you. After the second one, I felt sick, literally; exited stage, bent down clutching abdomen, gave in to pain and threw up! As if that wasn't enough (to kill me), we were told that we had to do some 'free dancing' thing for his last song, which we hardly had any time to prepare for. Needless to say, I or we humiliated ourselves out there. Like, seriously. I'm rather embarrass to say this but my tears were threatening to spill (after we'd completed ALL dances) because I felt I totally messed up out there. Kept apologising to Jean and she apologised for my throwing up. Both of us responded likewise, "Huh? Don't be silly." Goodness.

I honestly think that I'm getting too old for all the excitement. The other 3 dancers aren't even 20 yet, as in, years old. They were screechy and speakingsoquickly while jumping about and pushing and hitting (in a friendly manner) when all I wanted to do was, sit, space out, calm down and breathe. There was, at one point, that I got rather irritated with their childish antics, well.. just one of them.

Either I'm too old to handle stresses like these (which I doubt) or that I was in the midst of three young (one of which is superly hyperactivecantstoptalking) teens. I have a strong feeling it's the latter. Rather mean of me I know but I can't stand ppl like that (one).


*Did I mention that we only started practice a week before the event?
**I'll post pics up if I'm able to get hold of any.

He forsook His best today

It has been one year. So much has changed.

Words I have none to describe the pain I've caused the One who loves me the most.

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

-Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

(emphasis, mine)

Do I even want help? In this time when I seem to think I don't need it?

Forgive me Father for I have sinned against You.

So much has changed in one year...

why is this called a 'meme'?

I'll do one today coz:
- it's fun
- i don't have to think too much (i just write the first thing that comes to mind)
- it relaxes me, somehow...
- it helps take my mind off other (more pressing) issues
- i am a procrastinator
- my readers get to know me a little better
- i want to post something on my blog


1. My home is... honestly, still in Newcastle.

2. I am listening to... nothing. Oh wait, I hear rain. NOT Rain, the Korean singer! It's raining now. Pouring, more like.

3. Maybe I should... take up dancing again.

4. I love it when... my friends and I let ourselves go when we sing our hearts out.

5. My best friend... taught me what friendship really means.

6. I don't understand... my mum, sometimes.

7. I lost... that deep love I once had for God.

8. People say... and think more bad than good (myself included).

9. The meaning of my blog name is... monologue because I talk, a lot, and can go on and on forever. My friends can attest to that.

10. Love is... sacrificial.

11. Right now, somewhere, someone is... doing this meme, perhaps?

12. I will always... remember my life in the UK.

13. Once upon a time, I... wished I could lead a life of my own.

14. Now, I... still wish I could.

15. I never want to... grow up.

16. My personal motto is... love God FIRST. (Easy to say but sometimes so difficult to do, esp now.)

17. When I wake up in the morning... I literally roll off my bed.

18. I get annoyed when... people annoy me.

19. People always... disappoint but we continue to trust.

20. I sing... terribly and I couldn't care less.

21. Hugs are the best when... they're genuine.

22. Today I... thought my pohpoh had to be admitted into the hospital.

23. Tomorrow I will... go for church morning prayer!

24. I really want... my dad to stop living vicariously through me.