Friday, April 14, 2006
The wounds on his hands bled slowly. Pressure from the weight of his body held back the flow. If there had been no other sounds that afternoon, it probably would have sounded like the slow, steady drip off the eaves of a mountain cabin on a damp, foggy night. Gah! I tell you, Jesus' crucifixion never fails to invoke that 'heart-wrenching-can-die' feeling in me, whatever form it takes. I'm serious! For example reading the above I also wanna cry already. Now, can you imagine the state I was in when I sat through 2 whole hours in the cinema 'watching' The Passion? Why 'watching' and not watching? Because I was looking down 90% of the time while the bodily fluid on my face succumbed to the laws of gravity. I just died la, can? It happened to me when I watched Narnia too even though I felt that it was just an okay movie. You know the part where the 'bad guys' tugged and pulled Aslan by his mane, trashed him around, mocked him and then proceeded to shave it all off, haih.. yes, I cried. So, I wasn't sobbing and bawling (right, there was no bawling in the cinema, I was trying to keep as quiet and as still as possible in between sobs) like in The Passion but it had struck a chord in me nonetheless. I remember telling myself that I did that to Him, to Jesus, to the Son of God. However, nothing can compare (well, not yet anyway) to last year's EW when Wee Leon read an article written by a physician describing the torture and ultimately the death Jesus endured on the cross, in detail (like an autopsy), aloud. Can. Die. I couldn't stop crying and after a while I covered my ears because I didn't want to listen to it anymore, which was just silly because I could still hear him. And nobody told me to bring ear plugs before hand! I can choose not to watch, I can choose not to read but I cannot choose not to hear. I could have left the room but that would be silly too. Anyway, that night, I chose to forgive the person who hurt me the most. I didn't want to initially. See right, the session before that was on forgiveness and I really felt God telling me to let go but I couldn't, no, more like I didn't want to. I decided to disobey. It was nice (in a sick and twisted way) to watch them squirm and feel all guilty and stuff. But after listening to the detailed account of... *Cries* I thought to myself, "Cheryl, Jesus went through ALL that, all that for whom? For you! So that your wrongdoings will not be held against you -the forgiveness of sin, once and for all! And if Jesus had to endure all that pain and suffering so that you could be forgiven, how can you not forgive this person for the measly little act *** did? If you cannot forgive then clearly you've not understood what Christ did for you on that cross." And BAM! It hit me right at the core of my being. If I don't forgive then Jesus' death would have been a wasted effort, to put it bluntly. I mean, I cannot even begin to comprehend what He went through just so I could be forgiven and here I am, in my own little world being a brat because somebody hurt my feelings.. -_-" Of course it hurt, it hurt like hell and it didn't seem so measly then but when I compare it to the ultimate sacrifice, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g becomes insignificant, really la. The cross, it does things to you, things which the world cannot understand. It's powerful! It transforms your life and renews your mind. You begin to see the world through the eyes of the Almighty. You can have it too. It's as easy as ABC. You just have to Accept (Him as your Lord and Saviour), Believe (that He died on the cross for your sins, rose on the 3rd day and is alive) and Confess (that you're a sinner asking Him to forgive your sins). Hehe ;) It'll be the greatest decision you'll ever make in your life! I promise! And to my fellow brethrens, as we reflect on the cross today, I pray that we'll continue to yield to God and that we will live a life of holiness and purity because this life we live is no longer our own. We were bought with a price -with the blood of the Beloved... In3caTe jotted @ 8:27 pm
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