.mono[b]logue.

Let It All Out

Let it all out
(Get it all out)
Rip it out, remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed

Cause we're so scared to find out
(What this life's all about)
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need

And today I'll trust You with confidence
Of a Man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow upon hearing what I did
I will stare at You in disbelief
Oh inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency

And You said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

And I'll let it be known
(At times I have shown)
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength

And You promised me
(That You believe)
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength

And today I'll trust You with the confidence
Of a Man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me

And You said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for You
For You

And I know You know
You touched my life
When You touched my heavy heart
And made it light

- Relient K

i dunno

Have you ever been sad and not known why?

I don't usually feel like this. I mean, not know the reason behind my unhappiness. It started at the beginning of this academic year. Hmm.. weird. I usually know why I feel down. It's just rare moments like this make me wonder, "Why?". This is probably the 2nd time I'm encountering these mysterious pangs of sadness. Oh well.. nevermind. Thought I'd blog about it since it has been a month I last blogged.

Oh, and one other thing. I do not know why I allow myself to be so affected by one person's mood/reaction/response that my actions do not reflect the person that I am. Well, I don't exactly alter my entire self. I still am very much me but I react in a way that I think would please the other person and it has hindered me from doing certain things, things that I feel God has called me to.

A friend of mine asked, "Who are you trying to please? People (just one person to be exact) or God?" A very valid and simple question, or so one thinks. Ask anyone, even a non-Christian can tell you the 'obvious, textbook answer' right away. But I've learned that in reality, it usually isn't as simple as it appears to be although it ought to be so. By the way, this has nothing to do with why I'm feeling down, just so you know. It's another matter altogether.

Sighh.. life.
Yes, even Christians with all the love and joy and peace, get tired with living...