fingers & toes crossed

Eeekk!! Results will be out next week!

*GULP*

Hmm.. many of you probably do not know this, but my results will very much determine whether I stay here in UK or return to M'sia for good.

May His will be done.

InDeoSperamus~~
In God we trust~~

Twin Rainbow photographed by MarkNam

u know me

I have never met anyone quite like you.

You see me; you see clear into the depths of my heart.

You can see everything hidden behind my eyes.

My pain, my sorrow, my happiness, my joy, my soul, you see me.

Nobody has ever seen me this way before.

Somehow you do and it amazes me.

Sometimes you make me want to throw my arms around you and give you the biggest hug.

Other times I just want to strangle you, but hating you makes me hate myself.

But yet you know this.

Somehow you found a way in, a way to see me, that others may never find.

That's just how it is and how it's going to be, no matter how hard they may try.

I have built a wall, and until they break that wall, they will never know me the way you do.

child-like faith

All I Know

I don't know how You made the world,
or how You keep it turning.
I'll never really understand the laws of time or space.
I don't know why the sky is blue or how the sun keeps burning,
or why You love the human race.

All I know is that You died for me
so that I could be forgiven.
And all I know is that You lived on earth
so that I could live in heaven.

I don't know how You stay the same,
when all around is changing.
Or why you always care for me no matter what I do.
I don't know how You hear my prayer when half the world is praying,
but You have promised me it's true.

All I know is that You died for me
so that I could be forgiven.
And all I know is that You lived on earth
so that I could live in heaven.

i do not love you except because i love you

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.


- Pablo Neruda

words women use

Advice on the opposite sex...

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes when you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something", and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine".

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THAT'S OKAY [IT DOESN'T MATTER (r u smiling 2 yourself?)]
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say You're welcome.

Neil Gaiman, on love

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own any more. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.


- Neil Gaiman

Couldn't have said it better myself.
Cheers Mr. Gaiman~~

more of miss c

3 names you go by:
cheryl
chel
cheryl

3 screen names you have had:
In3caTe
suelynn
sue-lynn

3 physical things you don't like about yourself:
shoulders
arms
thighs

3 parts of your heritage:
nose
height
jaw

3 things that scare you:
heartbreak
enclosed spaces
not seeing my loved ones in heaven

3 of your everyday essentials:
God
vitamins (heh! daddy'll be so proud of me =P)
time to myself

3 things you are wearing right now:
baby-t
cotton boy shorts
err.. that's it... hahhah ;)

3 of your favourite bands or musical artists:
Alicia Keys
John Mayer
SONICFLOOd

3 of your favourite songs:
The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
Rescue by Desperation Band
Twenty Two Fourteen by The Album Leaf

3 things you want in a relationship:
love
security
honesty

3 physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
height - tall
hair - short/shaved/bald (not balding la!!)
eyes - small

3 of your favourite hobbies:
reading
sleeping
strolling

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
sleep
read
watch a movie

3 places you want to go on vacation:
Cyprus
The Bahamas
Brazil

3 kids' names you like:
Faith
Brennan
Caitlyn

3 things you want to do before you die:
swim with wild dolphins
see all 7 Wonders of the World
serve God in the mission field

3 ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
i can't walk (properly) in heels =P
i'm forever clad in jeans
i love (watching) F1 (this really isn't only a guy thing la. can't think of anything else but. this was super difficult to answer man. haih.. i'm such a girly girl.. hahha ;p)

3 ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
i have boobies
i wear skirts & dresses (rarely)
i'm a super emo drama-mama

3 celeb crushes:
Josh Hartnett
Justin Timberlake
Ryan Phillippe

her story

One evening while strolling along a path, she stumbled upon a door which was left ajar. Curiosity got the better of her and thus, decided to go in and 'look-see look-see'. What greeted her next, she had not anticipated. Inside, there were heaps and heaps of colours; orange red yellow blue green pink

"Oh joy"

By the way, if you didn't know, she adores them, colours I mean. Plus she kinda enjoyed looking at the bowl of goldfish, which sits at the right hand corner of the window ;)

Anyway, she loved visiting that place. There was something in there which captured her soul.. the paintings. Everyday there'd be a new painting. It surprised her how much each one touched her heart, as if they were speaking to her. They told a similar story; a tale of sadness, of pain and hurt. She could identify with them because she too was going through a difficult time in her life. Occasionally there'd be funny looking pictures, which made her laugh and some, which puzzled her.

The thing is, she has neither met this person nor has she seen him or spoken to him before. Basically, she doesn't know who this guy is. But yet, she does.. in her own way. Weird innit?

Anyway, she left you a note:


Thank you for letting me view your paintings, even the very personal ones. You see, there's this fear I've neglected for some time now and instead of dealing with it I have successfully suppressed it. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), it has resurfaced. Unbeknownst to me then, your paintings have given me the strength and courage to confront it. Even though I still have bouts of anxiety (*aHem.. like the one you read), I've discovered that I am no longer that frightened girl I knew a month ago. So, thank you for sharing. Oh, and also for the comment you dropped me =) It's was very uplifting. Truly appreciate it.

Isn't it amazing how our Father brings His family together; worlds apart, complete strangers who're able to empathise, identify and relate to one another, unknown to them then, that they would play a part in helping each other through a of journey healing and restoration.

I'm glad He led me to your door that evening.


Hope you have a good day at work. God bless =)

vent

ventvent

Time seems to be ticking away so slowly. Am beginning to count the days till I board the plane that's heading south.. east.

I can't wait to go home *conflict* I'm dreading every minute of it






































I'm hoping you won't read this. That said, I can't very well ring you up and tell you that I'll most probably breakdown and cry if I saw, right? So how?

I've stopped wondering why her and have (as brutal as it was) come to accept the (heartbreaking) fact. It would have been less painful (much) if it were a stranger or at least someone we liked. And if it were the other person, same heart wrenching pain, no diff. God does have a huge sense of humour don't ya think? Heh!

Are you upset?
Yes, cheryl's back to her selfish ways. Probably not so used to it anymore huh..
I'm venting rememberrr.

These days my mind has been preoccupied with a 'plethora' of alternatives to the methods of elusion:
change cg, no more cyz
join young adults, still have to change cg
which celebration to attend
no, it is not possible for me to be your friend
oh no, our circle of friends
and of course, now her's too
Clearly, no such luck.. unless I cross over to absurdity,
change church!
which is just silly la although we know it isn't unheard of.

Oh well, life goes on and cheryl's got to get on with the programme too!!
I hate that you know me so well, that you're probably the only one who does but sadly, you'll never be MY ONE. You see Andrew Yeoh, apparently you still know which buttons to push, with even just a blink of an eye...

bored

Summer

'Tis finally here. I wonder whether Newc'll be as quiet as it was during winter break. See lots of people with luggages and such everytime I board the Metro, which is equivalent to M'sia's LRT by the way.

Anyway, NCCF will be conducting it's very first baptism (we're an independent fellowship ie not attached to a church) on the 10th. Yay!! I'm so excited.. *precious cacing's gonna be baptised too. It means a whole lot to those who came to accept Christ here at Newc instead of their home country. I never knew what a significant event it was till I started attending DUMC. Wish I could be baptised again. HEheh. Oh well, at least I get to be confirmed there. Darn! Reminds me, it's about time I transferred my membership. Gah!!

Tra la la ...

Ooh, Zee and I joined a contest by Muller to win a trip to Milan. What's more, you get to bring your friend along if you happened to be soo blessed that is *aHem. HAhaha (fingers crossed =P) Go join wei. It is however only opened to those residing in the UK. Hah! They even have one where you can win a trip to Cameron Highland's Strawberry Park, for them strawberry lovers of course ;) Whoa, they actually fly you out that far and of all places, M'sia's Strawberry Park. Heheh.. hopefully whoever wins wouldn't be too disappointed. Muller by the way is one of the most yummylicious yoghourt I've ever tasted. Slurrrppp...

F1

Two years ago, the FIA (Federation Internationale de L'Automobile) amended some rules coz people were supposedly losing interest in the sport since Ferrari was leading most of the time. Apparently they were losing their audiences. But bring it on baybeh!! coz the Scarlet cars did not falter, up until this season that is. Even though I'm an avid Ferrari fan (it's just Barrichello actually) I think competition is good. Nowadays, you get to see almost every other team on the podium, which is excellent la especially for those who's been driving for ages and have yet to receive a trophy.

Anyway, I was watching the European Grand Prix last weekend and lo and behold!! News has it that ticket sales and tv viewers have dropped considerably because Ferrari are no longer up front and leading. Gosh!! Make your mind up already!! Irritating!! Note that the grass will never be green if you do not take good care of it, whichever side you're on man!!

I somehow suspect that the tyres may be partly responsible. One cannot help but gawk (ok, me) at the obvious difference between the teams using Michellin tyres and those using Bridgestone. All you have to do is take a look at the Constructors Championship dude!!
Hmm..
HMmmmm ??!!?!?!