matters of the heart

empathy, sometimes i wonder how much of it is good...
to the point of falling sick? when did i begin to feel so much for others? when did this all start? cry, cry, cry. ache, ache, ache. all i can do is pray. Pray for myself, pray for others.

troubled souls; people whom i find myself inevitably loving despite not knowing them completely. wanting to comfort, to just to be there. i wish i could reach out and hold them close.

"shhh.. everything's gonna be alright".
(don't know how, don't know when but it'll be okay)

you find solace in the silence, you befriend it. words, they exasperate you.

this is all that i can say right now. this is all that i can give. that's my everything. i know it's not much.


He reminds me of the angels around me. Thank you cy.

lost in the beauty of my Creator

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed-and gazed-but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

- William Wordsworth

dinner (+ breaky) is served

Fooooodddd!!!

Prepared by *precious cacing & gang (Dipz&Luke)





This may seem odd to you.. No!! Not my current obsession with food-posting. It's just that I feel so loved and cared for in this foreign land. No one (apart fr parents&x-) has taken such good care of me before. Hence, I wanna take this (tiny window of) opportunity to thank you all so very much.

GOD BLESSSSS cacing !! And Dipz and Luke... Oh yea man, hope you've straightened out.. whatever the commotion was just now. Anyway, recover soon!! Pray for you =)

Oii, and Dipz, you forgot to gimme your account info la.

Now, according to cacing, in a very typical 'Neong style', Muacks!! Love you guys!! ;p
HAHhaha...


+++

So, the dreaded tomorrow has finally arrived. I shall not allow fear (or stupidity) to consume me.

~ With Christ, everything ~ ~ Without Him, nothing ~
+++

aawww

What!! I couldn't help but "Aawww" okay.

This my friends is what I call love. (HAHaha.. wasn't talking about the "aawww" yah ;p keep reading...) Don't get me wrong but. I'm not referring to worldly love, the one most of us are probably familiar with; human emotion. Nope, this love is far more superb, this is the love that my God has so graciously showered upon me. It's spelt u.n.c.o.n.d.i.t.i.o.n.a.l by the way =)

Anyway, veering back to point, at one of our meetings (NCCF - Newc Chinese Christian Fellowship) Leo and a few others volunteered to buy, cook and deliver food to ALL the students who're sitting for their exams. What's more, they have to work.. and may I add, out of their own pockets the moolah comes (Oh no, pls tell me I didn't just go all yoda-like... HAhahah. Darn!). Keep in mind that we do NOT drive here. You either travel by bus or take the metro and the closest (sounding) thing to a car you have, which you will most definitely use are your Chevrolegs.

'Tis such a noble gesture. I'm so so blessed to have them in my life.
"I truly appreciate all the effort you guys have put into preparing this meal".
*Sigh*
The perfect example of love in action. Won't elaborate further coz I'm starving. So while I satisfy my tum-tums, I'll allow John to do the honours of satisfying your soul since he wrote about this amazing love I keep going on and on about.


Aubergine!! My favourite!!! And it seriously looks
like the one served at Tian Tian man.


Dear Lord,

I want to thank you for the yummylicious dinner. I want to thank you for the *nccf* and the people You've brought into my life. I want to thank You for Your love bcoz it has taught us how to love. I pray that You bless the hands that bought, cooked and delivered this food. Thank you Lord for the love You've lavished on us so that we may in turn bless others with it. May we bring glory to Your name in everything that we do.

Amen.

Ok bye people =)
Enjoy~~

+++

~ 1 John 4:7-21 ~

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.

And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

We love because he first loved us.

If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

+++

crap[ology]

I'm blogging quite often these days despite the fact that my exams are ON, which is unusual coz I hardly blog even on ordinary (read: happy-go-lucky) days. But now you're getting (if you've actually noticed that is) entries from me almost daily. Just marvelous. I can find e.v.e.r.y other thing to do besides study: clean house, wash bathroom, do laundry, wash kitchen, err.. tidying up my room's still not on my to do list though =P Oh and of course, blog. This will be the death of me I tell you!!

Moving on...

I've decided to now address cy as cacing. Don't ya think it's much more pleasing to the ears. Hhmmm.. you know cacing, your name keeps popping up on my blog, all over as if mizying is forever stamped on it. You must mean a lot a lot to me. That, or maybe coz your name starts with a C too.. *winks*

Neeeexxttttt

Whoa, reading my 'my Jesus, my Saviour' post made me see the ~drama-mama~ that I am. HAhaha.. it ain't like I didn't already know but =D

*SIgh*

Happy reading.

Drop me a line if you wish. D0n't be shy.

Would like to know how you guys are doing. Good I hope. Or maybe not...

I wanna say hello to my very new friend =p
*Waves* "Heyyyy".

No, Cheryl's not insane. Just bored. And lazy. You know what would be her deadliest sin.. SLOTH. Correction, not what would be but what is.



+++

2days:SINKorSWIM

~float~

Can?

+++



SOMEbODY slap me puh-leasseeee

thanX

blessed 24th

This day is dedicated to my bestest friend, the goddess =D





Na

Ziseis

Xronia

Polla

Aggeliki!!!






While our arses are seated on a chair sloughing for the exams, I pray that you (and I) will have a wonderful and fruitful day. HAhahah.
I love you woman!! Don't know where/what/how I'd be if God didn't make our paths cross.

Okay, back to studying... Damn!!
Aren't we just one of a kind; 1 mind, 2 bodies. Heh!

my Jesus, my Saviour

It's weird that I hardly mention God on my blog seeing how He's been so real to me every single day. I have probably written bits and pieces here and there but never really going in depth and speaking about the things He has done and is doing in my life.

Is it because of fear?
Being conscious and afraid of how my non-Christian friends/readers would react?
Of how they'd think of me?
But they already know that I'm a Christian.

Don't we usually blog about our passion/s in life?
Isn't that the very emotion which inspires us to blog?
So why am I holding back?
What am I so afraid of?

.Rejection.Redicule.

One of the reasons why I wanted to privatise my blog was so that I could write more freely about Jesus.
SHAME ON ME!!

And here I am telling my friends to shine for Jesus wherever they go so that people would come to know the Father.
HYPOCRITE!!

He laid it all down before the WHOLE WORLD just for me and He wasn't ashamed.
How am I suppose to carry His cross and follow Him if I am?

God, He used to be a part of my life, like how studies were/are.
Now, today, He's no longer just part of my life, He IS my LIFE; the CENTRE of my being.He IS the reason for my existence; the very reason I breathe, walk, sleep AND wake up the next day. It is He who sustains me.
I do not live for anyone else. I DO NOT LIVE FOR MYSELF. I LIVE ONLY FOR GOD.
In Apostle Paul's words, "To live is Christ, and to die is gain".

The song All Day by United Live's playing in the background right now. How apt.

I don't care what they say about me
It's all right, it's all right
I don't care what they think about me
It's all right, they'll get it one day

Cos' I love You, and I'll follow You
You are my, my life
I will read my Bible and pray
I will follow You all day

I don't care what it costs anymore
Cos' You gave it all and I'm following You
I don't care what it takes anymore
No matter what happens I'm going Your way

Cos' I love You, and I'll follow You
You are my, my life
I will read my Bible and pray
I will follow You all day

All Day
All Day now
All Day
I'll follow You

Anyone around can see
Just how good You've been to me
For all my friends that don't know You
I pray that You would save them too

+++

Let today be the day I start proclaiming God's faithfulness. Let me never seize to testify of His everlasting goodness in my life. And let this blog be private no more.

martyrdom

CY, whose blog's only for the exclusives (hahah kidding!!), posted a leaflet which she received on her way home today. I couldn't tahan not letting more people read it ;P

Anyway, here it is.

+++
A young African martyr wrote these words in his prison cell before he died:

today

I'm going to post something totally erratical and nonsensical coz I woke up with it in my head and now it's stuck.

Pls don't mind me..

Move along now...

JELLO is her name & SHALLOW is her game

may His force be with you

Since everyone's going "rah rah rah" with the opening of Star Wars' Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith, here's a little something I got off the FoxTrot Comic website for your reading pleasure.
Enjoy









My little confession: I went to Jian's blog to get the title of the movie.
This just goes to show how much of a Star Wars 'fan' I am. Honestly speaking, I never was and probably will never be a Star Wars fan. Can't even for the life of me remember which sequel, prequel or whatever 'quel' I've watched. I don't even know which is THE original movie. Heh!Guess it just ain't 'ma cuppa tea'.

Oh well, to those who've waited for hours in line just to get the tickets, HAPPY WATCHING~~ hope your wait was worthwhile.


-update-

YOU GUYS HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT. HAHAH It's super cute wei!!!

i'm a newborn soul

Ok la.. bcoz Zee and Michael did it, I pun follow suit. HEheh ... Plus, I'm bored wei!!

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance. On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others. You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative. Nonconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you. Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter. You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything. You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships. Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

Nonconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you.
Hah! So weird. Esp the "you've never met anyone who's like you" bit. I'm the most common of all 'types' of people man. Well, that's what I think la.

On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others.
Ahh.. this is 101% true

Hahaha.. Gosh, do you so SEE the contradiction.
One minute I'm 'easily influenced' and the next, a 'non-conformist'. Then again, could it mean that I may be easily influnced but not necessarily conform?

Yes, Cheryl's got all the time in the world to be thinking about this since it's 9 days more till exams right??

Calvin, if you're reading this, which I doubt. HAHhah.. ANyway, if you happen to trip and stumble upon this page, cld you pls start digging my grave man. Wld so appreciate it.

This has got to be the most ridiculous post I've ever published on my blog. Or maybe not ...
Shall I hit the 'publish post' button??
Shall I change the title to "I like to be stupid"? (i'm kidding cy =D)
HAhah..

It's now 6:39am. I'm going to the library to study. Away from all the distractions. FAR, FAR AWAY. I never go to the library. Should be interesting.

imitating Christ's humility

this is what i call procrastination

an e-mail from a friend I love dearly

Hi there,

It's been long time since we had our last Wednesday night dinner watching our favourite tv shows, and as usual chatting about our lives and how we feel.

You may be wondering why am I sending u this email and especially at this time of the year. Well the reason is so simple......all of this time (sep-may) I 've been following your journals and I knew exactly how u were feeling every step in the way, I might did n't talk to you about it because I did n't know what to tell u, to make u feel better, or maybe I could n't find the right words to tell u that I know exactly how you feel and I understand you, or maybe because I knew u did n't want to discuss it.

Yesterday I saw your last journal and I believe it is the proper time for me to talk, afterall this is what good friends are for. We might not be seeing each often, we might not talk often and each one of us has separate "social lifes" but this does n't change how feel about you and how much I care about you.

Cheryl I know that u r having maybe the worst time of your life trying to get over something that meant so much to u, but there is one thing that you should know, something that I learned from my own bad experience and that is, if you loose a battle it does n't mean that you lose the war. The war is about life.You loose the war only if you give up yourself, and this is what u r doing, u r giving up yourself.

There was a time that I also believed that I was defeated, that my life was meaningless and the worst, nobody believed in me as I did n't believe to my self too. As I look back to that time I see only sadness, tears, and fear that I am all alone, but I also see the reason which brought me here. I wanted to prove that I can stand on my feet and that I needed nobody to make me happy. I want to prove that not only to others but also to myself who is the least that expects that I can do it. Please proof to your self that u are strong, and that u can make it with or without him.

Eventhough you lost someone you love, there are other people around you who love you and believe in you. There is also someone more important than us who believes in you, and that is God. Even His own Son carried the Cross that he was then crucified, but Jesus did not lose his faith not for a moment. Consider that as your "Cross", and be sure that you will come out of it stronger.

Please be strong and I am sure that at the end you will be a winner, because u may have lost somebody but you found Cheryl, the hero of herself.
The next time you will be looking at the mirror please say to that girl that you see " no more tears, u r not defeated, time for you to stand on your feet."

Also tell her that there is one person who really believes in her, and does not want her to be defeated from anything and from anybody. That's me. We are both walking on the same path, each one for a different reason, but we have to be strong.

Always remember that something that does n't kill us, it just makes us stronger.

Angeliki.

Me, Angeliki & our escapades


steamboat at home, trip to Durham, dinner at Whitley Bay, post-GreekNight

raising the white flag

As I was getting ready for church this morning, I saw a girl. She was standing in front of me. I thought she looked vaguely familiar, perhaps someone from my past. I took a step closer, tilted my head and looked at her. She too was staring right back at me but now with tears streaming down her cheeks. The look on her face was unmistakable, her pain pierced my heart. I recognised that face instantly and the tears she cried.
Each drop spelt D.E.F.E.A.T
I knew she'd been trampled on, the words DEFLATED and DEJECTED were written clearly for all to see on her tear stained face. The next thing I saw was her raising the white flag, she was giving up and giving in. I called out to her, tried to tell her NO!! Tried to convince her to persevere and not go down in shame, especially not after fighting for so many years. I even shouted but to no avail. It seems the little strength she had left in her could no longer hold her weight, standing up would as if, drain the life out of her.

"Shall we call upon our SuperHero then?"
She shook her head.
"Why not? We'll stand victorious for sure!!"
And for the first time she spoke, almost whispered, "He'll come and turn everything topsy-turvy. He'll start cleaning out my closet and I don't want that to come out."
I stood before her in silence, not knowing what to say.

The shrieking sound of my mobile caught my attention. I looked at the time, "Shoot!! 11:30".
I turned away from the mirror, grabbed my bag and hurried out.

cheryl a disney princess.. HAHahah

Thoughtful and loving. Authority figures probably have been sheltering you all of your life. Thankfully you're a very tranquil person who is content with what life has given you, but secretly you want to know how the outside world works.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Does this mean I'm sheltered??
0.o

love like you've never been hurt

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.

Love is when you take away the feeling; the passion, the romance and discover that you still care for that someone. The sad thing about life is when you meet someone who means the world to you only to find out in the end that you were never meant to be. You just have to let go.

When one door of closes, another opens. But often we look so long at the closed door we don't see the one, which has been opened for us.

It's so true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it. But it is also very true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts. If it doesn't, be contented that it grew in yours.

There are things you love to hear but would never hear it from the person whom you would like to hear it from. But don't be deaf to the person who says it with his heart.

Never say goodbye when you still want to try, never give up when you still feel you can take it. Never say you don't love anymore when you can't let go. Love comes to those who still hope, even though they've been disappointed.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Love starts with a smile, develops with a kiss and ends with tears.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life if you're unable to let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Don't let past grievances turn your heart into stone, your heart was meant to be loved, your heart was meant to love.

The old has passed you by, don't let this year pass. Forgive, forget and relent. You're too beautiful to be holding on to these things. You look better with love and mercy.

You are free to live your dreams, free to run. Unhindered by worldly values, not bound by man-made traditions. See the hope that is paid for and laid out in front of you.

Your destiny awaits. Don't wait for the chance to regret, don't settle for second best. Your path is narrow, your path is clear. Hope lights the way, grace accompanies."

back from a hiatus

A handful of you who've been faithfully following this page (I hope) would probably have noticed that I seldom express my true feelings. Try as I may, I catch myself hesitating, wanting to share just enough without revealing too much. And this, is beginning to bug me.

Unlike the majority, I started blogging because I had too much time on my hands and all thanks to a certain somebody who inspired me to sit my butt down and put my thoughts into words. I, for one, am known to keep diaries, journals and such but would only pen down something significant, something noteworthy.
Oh, and speaking of 'something', I absolutely detest that word. Why? Because it goes to show how limited my vocab is every time I use that word; something = unspecified thing (which I suppose then bred the word 'thingy').

Right, veering back to THE topic at hand, a blog to me is a place where I escape to, to write whenever my thoughts can no longer be contained in this small lil head of mine. The thing is though, I never fail to end up rambling nonsensically about.. nothing even though I started out with having something to write about. GosH!! And it irritates the hell outta me.
Can you so see this happening right now, at this very moment !!

Anyway, the message I'm trying (so hard) to convey is, I may intend to share a thought but end up not doing so because I'm afraid of being raw, being too open with my readers. I inevitably begin to consider 'whose and whose' feelings and more often than not, the 'what-ifs'.

Why is it so difficult to be vulnerable?

I truly admire the people who are not afraid to be themselves, online or offline. Right now, the only train of thought in my head is this ...

"Be who you are and say what you really feel inside, because the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind..."