A New Beginning (Pt.2)

Lord, how do you expect me to have a 'Merry' Christmas ??
How am I suppose to be 'joyful' and 'rejoice' in the birth of my Saviour ??

*Sigh* Christians would know that these are probably the most steww-pidest questions one can ask but...
I shall explain.
Before that tho, I would like you to read the sentence below a few times, till it gets into your head, digest each and every word.
Ok? Alrighty then =)
God, God Himself willingly sacrificed His only Son to take on the curse of sin so that I, Ms. cheryL, a mere measly tiney-winey mortal may have everlasting life.
Now read the 2 questions posted above, don't they seem extremely insignificant compared to what God has already done for me? I was limiting God to what I thought were His capabilities. I mean He IS afterall God and what kinda God would I be praying to if I thought He can only do 'this' much.
It sounds real dumb now, but just a week ago, I questioned and questioned and knowing how my christmas could ever be joyous this year meant the world to me.
This is exactly what I told Him, "So You took him away and made me hurt so so much, I want You TO MAKE SURE I have a M.E.R.R.Y Christmas !! Lets just see how You're gonna do it". (+ the smug look; like so stupid right !!)
Deep down tho, I knew, I knew He would deliver me and restore my broken-heart. I was just way stubborn. HEheeh.. as usual.

Christmas was yesterday. The day my Saviour, Jesus Christ came into this world to save me from eternal pain. Was I saved? Y.E.S !!! Praise the Lord !!!
Tell me, tell me again that he loves her and not me. I'm ok !! I'm healed, completely restored; upside down, downside up, inside out and outside in.
Just like that ah? Yeah la He's God mah !!!

I never really shared Christ to my non-Christian friends. I speak openly about my faith and stuff but never really told them that Jesus would and could do it for them too. The urgency was lacking. I was hoping that my life would reflect a Christ-like one and then people would want to know God in a personal way.
But now I cannot not tell you, yes you, about His great love and I only have 2 words for you.

U.N.C.O.N.D.I.T.I.O.N.A.L

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G

Unconditional because He keeps on loving me and loving me despite my ever-so-consistent disobedience. You have to understand that Jesus is love ie God=love which means that He could never punish you. The 'punishment', so to say, is basically the product of your own disobedience; the consequences. It's like that Chinese saying, 'you brought it upon yourself'.
BUT.. because He is LOVE, he would never leave you to fend for yourself when you're 'drowning'. Even though 'you brought it upon yourself' He will always be there to 'save' you. ALWAYS. He will never leave you nor forsake you because He JUST CAN'T. He loves you TOO MUCH. Disobeying hurts, it's common sense, we know our parents want us to be obedient and bla bla bla =p and they get upset if we don't listen to them...
Anyway, back to my heavenly Father...
Disobey Him, hurt Him, reject Him, be angry with Him, hurt Him more and He STILL WOULD LOVE YOU. There is NOTHING in this world that could make Him not love you. N.O.T.H.I.N.G

Amazing ain't it ;) Yea, I'm coming to that...

His AMAZING LOVE... *Sigh* Without it, without Him, I know that I will harbour bitterness. I know because I can feel it (no worries, not venturing in there).
Hmm.. this is gonna be a little sensitive to some people but I need to say it anyway. Forgive me in advance k.
The bitterness, I want to be angry... Well, not really want but isn't it like normal to hate the woman who stole his heart from you? Then anger's suppose to come rolling in and you get really bitter and stuff (esp girls). And then you just want to make her life a living hell. Hahahahah.. right !!
WRONG !!!!
Oh well, you would probably be right if I was living in this world according to wordly values. But so so thankful that I am NOT. I ain't. I live according to God's values, primarily His love.
AHhaha you wouldn't believe it, but I try to be angry at her. I do la !! AHahah .. but then I just can't. There ISN'T ANY ANGER... I was angry when I was hurting of course, but I'm talking about NOW; after complete healing. 'no', 'boh', 'nada', 'takde'.. don't have I'm telling you, I cannot get angry and I don't hate her. I don't know why, all I know is IT IS GOD and His AMAZING LOVE.

Wanna know what is MORE amazing ;) This one also I shocked man !! Ready anot .. I pray for their relationship, I pray that their relationship will last. And mind you, it's not the 'forcing yourself to pray' kinda thing where you go like,"Ok la, I sacrifice lerr.. you be happy and I shall be sad". No man !! I just pray because I genuinely want their relationship to be special. Isn't it bazaar !! It's like WHOA MAN !! You sooo know it's God because there's no way a human can genuinely care for the well-being of her ex-bf and the woman who stole him from you. I'm talking about GENUINE.. no grudge what-so-ever !! I'm still in shock to tell you the truth. I can't believe it la. I'm like.. "Hmm, I so nice one meh?" NO !! NO !! It is God, the God of UNCONDITIONAL and AMAZING LOVE ... and His all-sufficient-GRACE ... This AMAZING GRACE He so graciously showers on me so that I will be able to forgive, and love and love some more !! Yea man !! That's what the God of Love does to you. And it is such a wonderful feeling.

note: the part where I wrote 'the woman who stole him from...' was added for effect's sake. tell me that she stole him from me and I will tell you it's ok.
HAhhahaahh !!! You'd think I'm either mad or in denial. But I'm telling you it's His love and grace. I feel it flowing in my bloodstream. It is the very thing that's holding my human emotions together. If I lose His love, the very love that enables me to love, and if I lose His grace, the one that enables me to forgive, I'd be so dead. I don't even want to think about that.

Was talking to cy the other day. We were evaluating how ppl in general handle 'heart-breaks' and we realised that the devil uses our emotions to manipulate us in a sick and twisted way. For example, some ppl drink themselves to death just to forget, others take drugs to temporarily flee from the pain and then there are girls who just 'bounce' from one relationship to another. I know a guy who got 'played' by his first love and now he goes around 'playing' girls to hurt them just bcuz he was hurt. And the ultimate sick and demented thing the devil tells you is to take the easy way out, taking your own life cuz you won't feel the pain anymore, and I bet he even 'guarantees' it.
We were so thankful after that cuz we have Jesus in our lives. We can run to Him ANYTIME... and you KNOW HE IS THERE.

I think of my friends who do not have Jesus and wonder how they overcome extremely difficult obstacles in their lives. I do.. I guess you just take it in and walk against the wind by yourself cuz life goes on and you either make it or break it right.
Reading this blog means that you are someone I treasure very much and you probably have never heard me say this to you face to face before but I have to say this now... YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALONE. My gosh !! Having God is like having someone.. CARRY YOU ALL THE TIME. You do not have to carry your burdens, you don't.. just give it to Jesus and I guarantee He will carry it for you no matter how heavy.. He is afterall God ;)

Have I suddenly gone all holy-moly and you're suddenly afraid? Like why am I suddenly 'cheryL da preacher'... Well let's just put it this way, imagine finding the cure for cancer and not tell anyone about it.
I've been a Christian for sometime now and I never felt the urgency to share Christ with you. If it meant going thru 'liking, loving, committing.. breaking-up, lettting go, closure and complete restoration' for me to finally understand what it means to find a cure for 'heart-break' and tell ppl about it so that they do not have to hurt forever, I would do it all over again. Yes, and not change a single thing no matter how painful it is cuz I know I have Jesus by my side. Ok la, if I could turn back time... HAhaha I would change so many things.. but that's not the point. The point is, all I have to say is, "Lord I can't do it alone, please help me". And before I can even say Amen, He has already begun.

Finally, yes.. at last right !! Ahhahhaa
Whoever said, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved" clearly has never experienced love nor loss before.

Lastly =p (it's my blog !!) I really, really wanna thank all da peeps out there for keeping me in their prayers. Hope that you will continue to pray for me and do tell if there are any prayer needs way, way back home k.

And.. I LOVE YOU JESUS !! love ya, love ya, love ya...