what is the fastest clock in the universe?

I thoroughly enjoyed the play the other night (refer to previous post). Unfortunately, not many people share my sentiments. The Fastest Clock In The Universe is written by Philip Ridley, the dude on the left. Freaky, I know.

It's basically about this guy, Cougar Glass (played by Gavin Yap) who refuses to acknowledge the fact that he ages on a yearly basis, has been celebrating his '19th' birthday for the past 11 years and preys on young innocent boys to gratify his sexual desires. He lives with a much older guy, Captain Tock (played by Ari Ratos) who is deprived of love and has a weird obsession with birds, dead and alive. Erm.. yea (pls take a good look at the writer again).

The characters (there are only 5) in the play comes across as a little cuckoo to me (no surprise there, *cue image of writer) except for Foxtrot *Dahling (*Darling played by Niki Cheong). He was the only normal person there albeit a tad bit naive and oblivious to his surroundings. His fiance, Ms. Sherbet Gravel (played by Joanna Bessey) is a boisterous, over-zealous 17 year old girl who seems to know more than she's supposed to and has made it her personal agenda to get Cougar for the lying psycho that he is. Phwaarr! Take that!! All hell breaks loose when Ms. Sherbet announces Cougar's real age. A re-enactment of WWE then takes place right in front of us. Fuiyoh.. that was good man. Proper fight, I tell you. Had to pick my jaw up from the floor after that somemore.

There is one particular scene which I reckon is essential to the underlying theme of the play; Captain Tock tells Cougar's guests about the Fastest Clock In The Universe. Heh, good luck in catching that. When the Captain relays his story to his supposed audience, the only one who's really listening is the over-excited, hyperactive Ms. Sherbet. Really, even you won't give a hoot as to what the story is all about. Trust me. I tried so, so hard to pay attention to the Captain only to have it rudely interrupted by repeated moans when I could finally focus. What the?? Eewwww... You see, while the Captain was passionately telling his story (and very loudly too, mind you), Foxtrot and Cougar were passionately doing something else. Like, whoaaa dude, there was this whole **Brokeback Mountain thing happening in one corner, okay?!?

*M didn't tell me it was for mature audience only. Scarred for life, I tell you. He was probably as clueless as I was but eww, eww, eewww...
*Erases image from head*

Anyway, Joe Hasham (director) was kind enough to provide us some eyecandy during the first ten minutes of the play; Gavin walks into the set topless in his, ooh-la-la, newly acquired body. Apparently, he's been on a strict diet and has been working out in the gym ever since November last year. I've got to hand it to this guy la, he's so dedicated to his work and most definitely very disciplined. I mean, seven gruelling months in the gym plus strict diet for ten minutes, seven months for ten minutes, 7 months, 10 minutes, which he has to repeat like 83745039 times in front of 8576 people. Okay la, I guess it's justifiable =D Moreover, the guy's happy and so are the female audience. It's a win-win situation, no? ;)

I thought the play was fantastic la. The actors played their parts superbly. Niki Cheong can further improve himself but this being his first major role and doing the **Brokeback thing, I salute him man.

I was completely bowled over (it ended shortly after the WWE Smackdown, that's why) and was speechless when I left the theater that I couldn't even utter a single word of praise to the actors when *M introduced me to a few of them later. *Slaps self* And I also wanted to ask Gavin whether he found his role challenging, you know.. playing a disturbed, brooding and pensive homosexual paedophile spotting a kiss-curl for a hairdo coz I've seen him in another play (can't remember which) and didn't think much of it. His character wasn't as colourful as this one. Oh well...

Gosh! And how can I forget to mention Cheetah Bee (a cameo role played by Faridah Merican)?!? She's this sweet little old lady with a twisted past of her own. I liked it when she told Foxtrot about the faceless boy. Haha, so random. I got a fright when she first appeared though. Her face was painted in the same way as Mimi's (from the Drew Carey Show). *Shivers* Anyway, *M introduced us after the play and.. she's just so warm. Such a lovely lady, absolutely radiating with kindness and humility. It has been ages since I met someone like that.
Sighh..

**Since I cannot be asked to watch Brokeback Mountain, I may have exaggerated a little there because I don't know what happened in the movie. And you do not have to be so kind as to enlighten me. Thankyouverymuch.

It's uncanny how *M thought that the scrawny, topless and hunched Cougar (the character, not Gavin) reminded him so much of *Z, a friend of ours. But yea man, he does.


Oh, so what is the fastest clock in the universe?
It's y'all.