Me, Myself And I

Been doing a lot of thinking lately. Hahah.. but then again, I reckon I think too much. Oh well, think that's what staying alone does to you. See!! Told ya.
Anyway, as I was saying, I've been thinking.. about the past. Hmm.. more like reflecting; the bad and the good, the ups and the downs, the works.
I know you're 'supposed' to do this at the turn of the new year but I've been thinking and I need an outlet, so here goes: -

made expensive mistakes, disappointed my parents, disappointed myself, learned the true meaning of love, gained a lot of weight =(, lost some of it (hahahh ;p), made new friends, met up with old ones, was greatly encouraged, had an eye infection, went to Paris, contemplated suicide.. twice, finally felt a sense of belonging, danced, laughed till my stomach ached, cried till my eyes could see no more, worked in a law firm, lost my identity but found it again =), helped a friend, lied (talking about one BIG lie, not those little white ones), told white lies (err..), discovered that clubbing doesn't appeal to me anymore, loved like I've never been hurt before, cried for someone else's pain, gave my heart away, made empty promises, failed my exam, got my heart torn into pieces, received a miracle, contacted long lost friends, underestimated God, realised that Newc isn't so bad afterall, had silly *crushes*, visited the Eiffel Tower (1 down 6 to go), bought myself a C'mas pressie, can't remeber how it feels like to be single, started a blog, acquired a taste for wines, made life-changing decisions, saw Mona Lisa (heh! big deal..), learned to let go, shared a joyous occasion with a friend, spoke to someone from my past, went crazy for everything suede and/or dark brown, met God during the darkest hour of my life, noticed that I was different, was deceived by Mr. S.A Tan (a few times!!), shopped at Des Champs-Elysees, discovered that I've got 3 angels watching over me (am really touched), attended the coolest wedding, realised how precious life is, bought a watch, hid from the world, learned to speak a little Greek, became a chocoholic (it has been 2mths since I started and I just can't stop!!), convinced myself that no one would want me anymore, bonded with my bro (well, sort of), ran after buses and trains (hahah.. still do sometimes), drew closer to God, felt comfy just being me, allowed myself to become vulnerable, hurt the one I love, lost the one I love, behaved like a child, was greatly humbled, acted silly and enjoyed every moment of it, was able to share the gospel with a very close friend, forgave and was forgiven, ate nasi lemak in Newc (yumminess!!), learned to trust God fully, cried in my sleep, tried going on a diet but failed miserably!!, found out that I'm still remembered, was redeemed from the pit, started having nightmares again, was given the opportunity to serve the Lord, lost track of time for a while, became selfless (God's grace), cried in the shower, met up with my confidant, went into a jealous rage, was greatly blessed, carried someone else's burden, got my prayers answered, didn't see the sun for 3 days berturut-turut, felt insecure, made a brother stumble, wish I had said some things, wish I knew how to control my tongue more often, fell in love again, received an extremely precious gift from God (a friend actually ;)), learned to appreciate the people around me, got a tattoo, made 'Banjaran TitiwangsaS' out of.. not even a molehill maN!! more like a few grains of sand (tsk tsk tsk.. impulsive-nya!!), went dancing every night for a week, swore like nobodies business (can't believe I knew so many 'bad' words), met Tim Hughes (*rolls eyes*), shared a flat with a very 'unique' person, nearly got knocked down by a car, fell asleep in the bath.. twice, body surfed, forced to learn to 'love my enemy' (aarrghh!!), learned to love my enemy (definitely God's grace!!)

Think I shall stop. Got lost in my own thoughts and I can't be asked to 'sort them out'. Well, not now, maybe another time.
Hope you had a good read and I apologise if you're bored out of your mind. Hmm.. go munch on choccies or something =p

Goodbye Chrissy

We (the cg) threw a surprise farewell dinner for Chris at my place last Saturday. And boy was he surprised!! I was quite sure he tried to suppress his tears but pulled off acting 'cool' in the end. It's all good, we still love you Chris =) Hahha.. wish I could post some pics cuz cy wore this really cool top that read 'WE LOVE YOU CHRIS (REAllY)'. Hmm.. I could always 'take' the pic from her blog ;p Heheh..


thanx cy =p

After stuffing ourselves with lotsa yummy food (whoaaa, cy ur bread pudding was deliciousness!!), each of us shared how we came to know Chris and how he has blessed each one of us. I shall now take this opportunity to tell you ...

Think I met Chris about 2 months ago at cf. Altho it has only been 2 months, I feel like I've known him forever. He's one of the extremely few people who've seen me at my worst; there was this night where I was crying my eyes out and Chrissy graciously came over to accompany me at 4 something in the morning. Was in my pjs and all !! Haahah.. this would make him one of my very close friends here at Newc.

What I'll miss most about Chris... Err, his quirkiness ;p hehhe.. all the nonsense we talk about and do, waking me up ALMOST every Sunday for church, coming over to kacau me, the way he pronounces my name ;p, his 'lawak basi' (did i even get that right? hahah), reminding me to pray and read the Bible (think he does that to everyone.. hehe), his encouraging words, his patience and last but soo not least, his foooood !! I can hear the crowd agreeing =p
It's not like I've eaten a lot of his cooking but he's forever offering to bring food over knowing that I'll probably be chomping on junk food. HEhehe.. so right, so right.
You've been such a blessing Chris!! Luv ya!!


And here are some pics Ling took when she was here at Newc, with Chris of course.
HAhaahah.. pretty leh Chrissy ;p








Aiyah, no worries la Chrissy, you look nice. Hahahah ... I'm serious !!
Oh btw, Ling said she's ever so grateful that you cooked the Thai fried rice and brought it over. *Winks*
Oh, and also for teaching her how to cook ur chicken curry wor ;)

Tata Chrissy, take care k and I'll see you back home in June, if you're not in Miri that is.

U

Been thinking about you a lot lately; times when we said the silliest things, made the weirdest sounds, shared our deepest secrets and our most intimate thoughts.

Was just listening to You're Everything To Me by United Live ...

Remembered asking you what you wanted for your 23rd birthday. Then I gave you this puzzled look and said, "Huh? You want King of Manchester City??". HAahhaa.. what a laugh we had!!
When you finally got hold of the 'King of Majesty CD' ;p, you kept playing it in the car. There was this one time where I sung along with Marty Sampson when the song came on. At the chorus, I went like, "I will never stop pretending for all the things...". HAHhaHahahhaHHAHAH !!!!
When it was supposed to be, "I will never stop p-r-a-i-s-i-n-g Y-o-u...". HAHahhah. Thank God you corrected me. Would have made a fool of myself in front of others, esp the 'group' we hung out with then; sure kena wan =p

Then again, think I was a bit 'deaf' during that period of time =p
People kept repeating themselves, esp Ian and Ell. Hahah. Thank God for their patience. Hmm.. or maybe they just pitied me... But hey! They were laughing at my expense k!!



*Sigh* Memories, bittersweet ...

This & That

I miss blogging; basically just miss telling everyone what's up and about with Miss C. But these days, Miss C seems to be going thru rather hmm, personal issues. Sadly this blog is a 'lil too public.

Anyway, on the not so hush-hush department, if you remember, her brother holiday-ed here for awhile and when he left, her hot chic friend, Ling, came to visit her from London. They had a great time catching up and reminiscing bout those 'naughty days' of theirs ;) She stayed for a week or so. *Sigh* How time seem to fly when you keep adding a year to your age.

Well, Miss C would love to post some pictures taken in Paris and some taken on New Year's Eve and the rest of her cheeky self... BUT she can't upload pics on her comp. So, this will just have to do. Enjoy ...

Take The World But Give Me You

Am listening to 'You' by Tim Hughes from his latest album, When Silence Falls. Great song. The bridge goes something like,
"... There's always You, Unbreakable, Unshakable, Unbeatable, There's always You, Take the world, But give me You, Lord Jesus You".

Well, was just thinking bout what that meant; take the world but give me You ...
Just singing along with Tim Hughes is very different from worshipping God. Am I ready to even tell Him, "Take the world but give me You"? Are you?
The world, what does it mean to ask God to take the world?
Is it the tsunami, God literally taking the 'world' from those who've lost their homes, their loved ones, their livelihood, their country?

What is your world? What makes your world?
Your money?
Your career?
Your family?
Your reputation?
Your relationship/s?

What if God took away your world tomorrow?
Let say like Abraham, He commands you to sacrifice your beloved son, will you? How would you feel if God told you that He's all you need so it is ok to give up your son?
Or like Job, He takes e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g away from you and on top of that, plagues you with all kinds of diseases. What will your response be?

Scary innit?
Yeah.. the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to sing.

I however will always remember that He will never place me in a situation which I cannot endure or handle. Furthermore, like Paul said in Romans 5:3-5:
"... but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts..."

And in Romans 8:18:
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us", which is so very true...

Look at Abraham, he became the father of many, as promised by God. And Job, God made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.

Keep in mind that God 'takes' your world for a reason. He doesn't do it bcuz He enjoys making you suffer. On the contrary, He takes your world in order to give you better things even though at that moment you may not be able to comprehend that fact.

I personally have experienced 'God taking my world', which I will not go into. What I will tell you though is how much I've been blessed by Him after that. The things I now am offered, the hopes and dreams I now can achieve and the feelings I now possess weren't there before. And I can confidently say that there are more to come. Why not expect God to perform wonderous things to you and through you, right?

Know that God will take your world from you.. if your world isn't God.
Think about it ...

"The GOOD can often be the enemy of the BEST that God has in stored for you."

~ b1rThd4Y W|sh3S ~

to Sz3 yOoNg,

Blessed 23rd Birthday dearie =P
Hope you had a wonderful time yesterday despite being ill.
Do remember to guard your heart k, for it is the well-spring of life ;)
And you know I'm always just a text msg away.
Luv ya & miss u lotSss


to Yu jiaN,

Blessed 23rd Birthday to you too =)
Let your hair down,
Put on your dancing shoes,
Dance the night away,
And drink till you drop,
Cuz this day was made for U.
miss ya tOo !!! HAhahha... Enj0y.


to mY deAr couSin, PuRdy,

Blessed 22nd Birthday !!
So, how does it feel being t-w-e-n-t-y t-w-o ;)
Be happy, smile and embrace it cuz you only get to be 22 once ;p
May God continue to use you mightily to touch hearts and change lives.
Luv ya & take care k. Will see you real soon.


And to the rest of the world, you can't run from being a year older... That's just life, like it or not =)

Weird

Have you ever been attracted to someone you so know you cannot 'get' ? Not bcuz he already has a significant other, not bcuz he's old enough to be your grandpa, not bcuz he's way beyond your league and not bcuz he's your brother... Eeeww !! (I actually know someone who is)
Anyway, you know you cannot and should not be 'funny' bcuz he is like.. eek, married !?!?! (k la, so his wife is his significant other but I was referring to having a gf just now)
Cuz if you actually try to be 'funny' you'll literally be breaking up a family, which is a BIG NO NO for me. I mean 'stealing' someone's beau is bad enough, what more someone's husband, man !!

I'm not sure if this is normal. You've probably experienced it before but note that I'm not just talking about those 'oh, too bad he/she is married' kind. This is more like, 'is it me or is he being extra nice to me?' or 'why is he constantly looking my way?' kind, which is terrible la !! (and no, he is not 'ham sap' if that's what you're thinking)
Shouldn't the fact that he's -MarriED- put you off immediately ? Unless of course you're one sick ______
So why do these 'not-so-funny-anymore' thoughts keep popping into my head ?

Never happened to me before. Till now that is.
Weird ...

You know what, I think it's just me not getting enough sleep, not eating properly and it's super late and super cold =p
HAhahAHahah ...

Father's Love Letter

I got this website from a friend of mine. I think it's a really beautiful song and would like to share it with all of you. Enjoy =)

Faithful Father - Brian Doerksen

Father, I can't explain this kind of love
This kind of grace
I know I still break Your heart
And yet You run to welcome me

This is my song of praise to You
For who You are and all that You do
From the moment my life began
You have been faithful

Father, I love the way You hold me close
And say my name
I know when my life is through
My heart will find its home in You

This is my song of praise to You
For who You are and all that You do
From the moment my life began
You have been faithful
You will be faithful
Forever faithful

This is our song of praise to You
For who You are and all that You do
From before the world began
You have been faithful
You will be faithful
Forever faithful

Verse For The New Year

~ Phil 3:13b-14 ~

But one thing I do:
Forgetting what is behind
and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal
to win the prize for which God
has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

~Phil 3:13b-14 ~

A New Year, A New Beginning & ... A New Template ;p

Wishing ALL of you a Blessed New Year !!!

Well, I agree with Ian about reflecting on what we've achieved or have not achieved last year. I did a little pondering myself :P and I'm not exactly proud of 2004 but hey, I've got 2005 to make up for it. 2004 seemed so vague, like I was living in this world but my mind was always elsewhere. I went where the wind blew me, floating aimlessly. I took the fact that 'God would never leave me', for granted. *Sigh* I wasn't living the life He wanted me to that's for sure.

Still, there are things to be thankful for;
I thank God that He never fails, never leaves, is always faithful, always patient, always blessing and always loving. Furthermore, I thank God for the wonderful people He has brought into my life. The ones that are always there, always encouraging and always making me laugh :D HAhaha or maybe I'm just alwayzzz laughing :p
I thank God for delivering me from all forms of 'temptations'.
And I thank God for anointing me with a very special gift. I pray that I'll use it to be a blessing to others.
Lastly, I thank God for second chances ...

To all my beloved friends out there. You mean so so much to me. And I want to tell you how much I appreciate each and everyone of you.
If there's one thing I learnt from the recent tragedy, it's never to take the people you love for granted.. NEVER.

Alritee then, hope you had a SmA5H1Ng n3W yE4R !!
Love, cheryL